Punched in face, officer tasers 11-year-old girl

From Fox TV in Orlando, Fla.:

I'm not sure what the physical requirements of being a police officer are. I'm also unsure who would place a a school resource officer who cannot fight an 11-year-old girl at an elementary school.

The pre-teen spawn of Satan apparently pushed a fellow student into oncoming traffic. Thankfully no one was hurt, but when the little girl made a scene and attempted to spit at teachers, the school resource officer was called in to take care of business -- or not.

Officials say when officer Hudepohl arrived she asked the student to go with her to the office and she refused, pushed Hudepohl, and then punched her in the face, causing her nose to bleed.

Deputy Hudepohl attempted to secure the student however but the student continued to fight so Officer Hudepohl then tasered the girl.

The officer was taken to the hospital with a broken nose, and is obviously in the wrong line of work.

Four-year-old grudge leads to 'proper' punching

From the UK's Chronicle Live:

At all costs, avoid pissing off Britain's Hayley Barker. The former bartender was fired from her job and let her anger build up for four years before she exacted revenge with her fists.

The married 43-year-old passed her handbag to a friend and flew at (Brian Dixon), punching him twice in the face. Mr Dixon, of Ullswater Way, Slatyford, said: “She went mental. She punched me twice, not slaps but proper punches.

After the initial attack, Barker's former boss said she then started to scratch him in the face. Ironically, she lost her job in the first place for picking fights.

“She’s been barred now thankfully. I told her the reason she was sacked was precisely because she was so abusive.”

Punched in the face jokes! Part I

My apologies to everyone reading this.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't already told her twice.

"Professional fighters" have asses kicked

From KPHO CBS 5 in Phoenix, Arizona:

Here's an obvious one: If a braggart goes to a bar touting their fighting skills, someone is going to try to punch them. 25-year-old Nicholas Springer and 26-year-old Brendan Bank apparently decided to run their mouths, even threatening to come back with weapons and kill people. The bouncers didn't take too kindly to that.

Instead, one of the bouncers punched Springer in the face, knocking him out with a single blow. The video shows the bouncer pounding his chest after Springer went down. "He was pretty proud of himself after he did that," Braach said.

Thank Jeebus, there's video evidence:

Punch in the face costs $3,633.93

From Foster's Daily Democrat in New Hampshire:

What's it worth to you to be punched in the face? Conversely, what's it worth to you to punch someone in the face? Apparently the courts of New Hampshire have decided that $3,633.93 is a fair sum.

A Brentwood man was ordered to pay $3,633.93 in restitution for punching another man in the face during a random fight last year...

According to police reports, the fight took place in the victim's front yard when his girlfriend confronted Kulak about being too noisy.

The victim states in the report that after he entered the front yard to find his girlfriend involved in a screaming match, Kulak immediately got into his face and began punching him.

The puncher also pulled the victim's sweater over his head. He must be a hockey player.

Voodoo: When threats, fists aren't enough

From the Palm Beach Post in West Palm Beach, Florida:

It's true love when you really know how to strike fear into your partner's heart. Take, for example, this Haitian couple's dispute, in which the husband accused his wife of infidelity. He punched her in the face and stomach to no avail. Then he chased her with a metal pole, but that one didn't work too well either. He even threatened to shoot her and their children. But what really got to the man's wife were threats of voodoo.

Nerlet Bellot's wife told police she is a "strong believer" in Voodoo and her husband is "more than capable" of casting a Voodoo curse, an arrest report said.

The woman, who is Haitian like her husband, said she was "terrified of that notion and it's consequences."

The woman, who recently moved from Haiti where her husband also has family, told police that threat scared her more than any of the others.

No word on whether either of the couple's children is a voodoo child (slight return).

Penis envy: Man with small member punches Peeping Tom

From Ananova:

Unless you're at a urinal next to Tom Jones or Shaq, there's never a good reason to take a peek at another man's junk in a public bathroom. One New Zealand man did not adhere to that universal truth. The puncher's attorney, a woman, cited "urinal etiquette." Now how would she know?

Edward Aldridge, 47, punched his victim twice after he used the urinal next to him in a pub in Christchurch. Aldridge accused his victim of looking at him, reports Metro.

Apparently the pecker peeker made a smirk after checking out the puncher's twig and berries.